'New Parenting Fear Unlocked': Mum Opens Up About 'Violating' Incident At Indoor Playground

A parent has opened up about feeling “violated” after a child acted inappropriately towards her at an indoor playground. 

The mum shared how she was following her four-year-old son around the venue and had bent down to take a photo of him when another child, who she estimated was around 11 years of age, “pushed his hips into my butt”.

“There was plenty of room to get around me, but I thought maybe he tripped,” she recalled on Reddit’s r/Parenting community, noting that the boy also apologised, so she moved on.

“I bent down again to take the picture because I had jumped up when the kid touched me and he did it again,” she claimed.

And he kept trying to do it, even when she moved to a different area.

When she squatted to take a photo of her child again, she alleged the boy then went over to her “and put his hips right near my shoulder, almost my face”.

At this point she told him he needed to “back up” as she needed “personal space”. She then left with her son. 

“I’m just so distraught because I feel violated but also he was a CHILD! I feel bad for him, how did he learn those things? Or am I totally overreacting?” said the horrified parent. 

What to do in this situation?

Lots of people suggested she should have reported the child to a staff member or management at the indoor playground. 

“That kind of behaviour needs attention, not silence,” said one respondent. 

Some suggested she could’ve made more noise and reprimanded him loudly to call him out on his behaviour and make other parents aware – especially as it wasn’t obvious whether the boy was with his own parents or not.

Another person noted the behaviour, where the boy had sought out an adult on his own and wasn’t doing it to show off to peers, was “a huge red flag”.

“Of course it’s not ok to do that to another kid either, but boys acting stupid and laughing with each other is far less worrisome than a kid seeking out an adult woman to harass repeatedly,” they said.

What’s normal behaviour (and what’s not)

According to the Lucy Faithfull Foundation, “natural and expected behaviours” in children aged 5-11 years old include: 

• Increased sense of privacy about their body
• Body touching and holding own genitals
• Masturbation, usually with awareness of privacy
• Curiosity about other children’s genitals involving looking at and/ or touching the bodies of familiar children
• Curiosity about sexuality e.g. questions about babies, gender, relationships, sexual activity
• Telling stories or asking questions using swear words, ‘toilet’ words or names for private parts
• Use of mobile phones and Internet in relationships with known peers.

Persistently watching or following others to look at or touch them is considered an “amber” category by the foundation and children displaying this behaviour “require a response from a protective adult, extra support and close monitoring”.

Harmful sexual behaviour (HSB) refers to sexual behaviours expressed by children and young people under the age of 18 years old “that are developmentally inappropriate, may be harmful towards self or others, or abusive towards another child, young person or adult”.

The NSPCC said the majority of children who display these behaviours have themselves experienced trauma, including abuse or neglect.

If you are worried about a child’s sexual behaviour, offline or online, you can call the Lucy Faithfull Foundation’s confidential helpline. 

Help and support:

• Childline - free and confidential support for young people in the UK - 0800 1111