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If you’ve never heard the term “situationship,” 1) I’m extremely jealous and 2) it refers to a dating scenario where one or both parties act sort of like a couple (ie by going on dates, giving romantic gifts, and even meeting one another’s friends), without ever actually committing.
I have done my time in the trenches of situationship-dom, and everyone I know who shares a flat has too; a lot of my engaged friends, meanwhile, met when at least one of them had their own place.
This led me to wonder: wait, is the rising phenomenon caused in part by the housing crisis? After all, none of my paired-off pals with more space had to sneak a Hinge date into their collapsing flat of six people, hushing them as they tiptoed through the door.
So, I spoke to clinical social worker, licensed couples and sex therapist, and founder of Emily Lambert Robins, Emily Lambert Robins, about the possible link.
“There’s a loss of spontaneity”
The therapist agreed that people affected by the housing crisis – especially Gen Z, among whom situationships seem most common – face unique dating struggles.
“Young adults... are navigating intimacy in a landscape where privacy is limited and economic instability is the norm,” she told us.
“There’s a loss of spontaneity. A date doesn’t easily lead back to ‘your place’ when your ‘place’ is a mattress behind a curtain or a childhood bedroom” (too real).
Then, she says, there’s the “deeper psychological restraint” associated with unstable housing.
“Housing instability or overcrowding... undermines the sense of safety and comfort that intimacy requires,” she shared.
So, Lambert Robins suggests: “The ambiguity [of situationships] may function as a defence mechanism. If housing, income, and long-term stability feel out of reach, it may feel safer not to get emotionally attached.”
“Lack of space means fewer chances to cook for someone, watch movies, or simply exist together without pressure. These experiences are where emotional intimacy often grows. Without them, connections can stall at the surface.”
That’s not proof that your housing situation determines your relationship type, of course; but it may go some way to explain why some in less secure or private housing may find commitment more of a struggle.
That’s not to say people don’t find ways
Of course, particularly keen paramours will find a way to make it work, Lambert Robins said.
“For some, the challenge helps to be creative. Dates become walks, picnics, or late-night conversations in parked cars.”
Even voice notes can deepen a connection, she added.
“But there’s still a cost. When intimacy requires a workaround, it’s easy to burn out or not prioritise romantic connection altogether.”
Ultimately, she says, the housing crisis doesn’t just affect where and how we live.
“It delays milestones and reduces privacy,” she told us.
“It can also alter the emotional outcome of modern relationships. While sex and romance aren’t vanishing, they are evolving under pressure, and it’s worth recognising the psychological toll that environmental barriers can take on the intimate aspects of our lives.”
